There’s a colourful past here in every last Essex beam and floorboard. If you’re a historian, you’ll love the tithe-barn origins, the Domesday Book links, and the bonds with the bishop and the cathedral. Even better if you’re a historian who likes lolling around in hot tubs and outdoor pools with another 15 friends, family, hens or stags.
The Bishop of Ely Stables is one of a kind. Just like you. The brass radiators were commissioned in France. The solid-oak flooring is from old Victorian French railway carriages. And for those whose cultural bent runs to more popular themes, this is the stomping ground of The Only Way is Essex (TOWIE) and Gavin and Stacey.
Inside, everything is sweet for multi-generational mingling. You’ve two big TVs for streaming Sky, Netflix and Amazon Prime Video over the BT Halo Wi-Fi, and some big sofas and burning logs to ensure you do it in comfort. Board games and books abound. Finish the day clinking glasses over a poolhouse barbecue.
More tea, bishop? The outside terrace is the perfect spot, possibly followed by a little croquet on the lawn. Maybe you’ll linger a little longer when you see the outdoor pool, heated to 28 degrees from May to September, or the 37-degree, six-person hot tub. Wrap up the day in the poolhouse bar with TV and steaks sizzling on the barbecue.
You’re unlikely to book Bishop of Ely Stables because of a chequered past, but the tithe-barn origins, cathedral links and French artefacts add an interesting twist. But don’t get too wrapped up in history: make the most of the here and now. Get down to the poolhouse to clink glasses in the bar and catch the match on the big telly.
Inside, beneath the big beams, there’s plenty of sofa space to spread out and binge the latest from Sky, Netflix and Amazon Prime Video streamed over the BT Halo Wi-Fi. Keep cosy and toasty with the double-sided woodburner. Raid the full bookcase to escape the madding crowd or come together for evening board games.
Two fan ovens with eight burners should get your culinary juices flowing. But if it all seems like too much hassle, you could call up Private Chef Events and Perfect Day Caterers, Plenty of Thyme, or even The Aussie BBQ Company, specialising in hog roasts, barbecue buffets and paella. Perfect for around the pool.
Keep the laziness coming with takeaways from The Royal Tiger for sushi, Thai and Indian, Pink Garlic for Indian and Plush for Turkish. Dial up deliveries from all the main supermarkets, including Sainsbury’s and Waitrose, get your wine from Majestic and delightful deli stuff from Cosson’s in Wickford and Barleylands Farm Shop.
In the heart of beautiful Battlesbridge, The Hawk is a period country pub with a beer garden, serving burgers and classic British fare, plus real ales. Wood fires, flagstone floors and oak beams abound at The Old Windmill, great for baked hake or a crispy beef salad. Or try The Barge Inn for battered haddock or crispy coated chicken.
Go Turkish at Taz with steaks, specials and shish kebabs. Tuck into Asian-fusion fare at Royal Tiger, including sushi, Indian and Thai. Head to Vita Bella for delicious, award-winning Italian in an intimate atmosphere. Or go all out for flavour with Michelin-recommended eateries: Haywards, Galvin Green Man, and The Flitch of Bacon.
Amid branded mattresses, Dorma bedding and 300 thread-count sheets, you’ll sleep log-like beneath restored beams. Bishop of Ely Stables sleeps 16 in six bedrooms with room for zed-beds if required.
The Rocking Horse Room sleeps two in a double bed with views over the front garden, fountain and church, while The Garden View Room provides a kingsize and a beautiful view of the garden. It will fit a cot. The Rosy Room is a double and The Butterscotch Room offers an emperor bed and double with en-suite bathroom and space for a cot.
The Silver Room give you a kingsize with an adjacent bathroom with a shower. It can take a cot. Finally, The Opulent offers two superking beds, a TV and a bathroom shared with The Silver Room.